Too many words

“Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment.” 
― Chögyam Trungpa

I'm sure everyone is well-meaning, but, seriously, I don't need to see any more posts or articles on what I and, presumably, everyone else needs to do differently in 2018 (compared to 2017).

Blah, bloody blah.

The truth is, you don't need to go anywhere, be anything different or manifest another uber 'knock-it-out-the-park' habit.

Why?

Because you're already perfect.

And no, I don't mean in the egoic, look-at-me 😀😃😃😃sense. 

I mean where else do you expect to find happiness et al. other than right where you stand?

Here's the thing: reality depends on you; you don't depend on reality.

If you need or want to change your reality -- e.g. try to think different or better thoughts -- then go right ahead, but you'll fail. And that's why all the posts, supposed aphorisms and even Tweets won't help you one jot.

If you need do anything, then you need to look within and ask yourself the simple but profound question:

"What am I?".

Or put it another way, what is there before (your) thinking?

Trust me, this is hard. In fact, most people give up almost immediately on investigating the question, not only because the question is impossible to answer but it raises all manner of dark clouds, e.g. you don't actually know who you are beyond a bushel of thoughts, or the product of your social conditioning or what, up to now, you've chosen to accept as reality.

In case you think I'm making this up, to make myself look something different from you, I'm not. In fact, up until the age of 43, I honestly thought, based on some dodgy thinking and one or two stupid books ("Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill always comes to mind), that if I could control or at least manage my thinking, life could be lived on my terms.

But then...

I had a nasty whack to the head, and woke up by dint of reading The Heart Sutra (see "Hard Core Zen" by Brad Warner) and "Who am I?" by Ramana Maharshi.

Of course, it would be wonderful to report that 'KERPOW' 💥I found myself a realized being 🙏but I didn't. (Blast. There goes that plan.)

In truth, and as best as I can describe things, all illusions were shattered.

No longer did I see the world as a reflection of my thoughts, feelings and emotions. If I felt anything (and this feeling state persists to this day), it's a sense of unity with what is. That's not to say that I don't get caught up in my egoic ('me' or 'I') thinking but as long I stay open to what is, witness the thoughts, feelings and emotions from a place of presence, I'm not at the mercy of my thought-induced reality.

But, here again, I'm using far too many words!

As I've oft quoted, if there's anything to practice it can be summed up in Osho, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's few words:

"Be -- drop becoming".

Try that for size.

Anyhow, I suspect by now you're totally lost. And that's fine. But, seriously, before you read another 'get better, 'do more' or 'big-it-up' post or article, ask yourself the question, "Am I my thoughts?". If you think you are, then perhaps consider why, up to now, you've not been able to flick a switch in a way that negates all the angst in your life driven in no small measure with you arguing with reality, i.e. what is.

Blessings

Julian

Photo by Joshua Earle