We're all going to die

You'd think, knowing that, we'd seek something more fulfilling than a life of faux experiences but it's not how we're conditioned to behave.

In fact, it's worse that that.

We want it now.

All of it: money, prestige, fame, love and material stuff.

(On the opposite side of this meme, we've this huge aversion to any form of suffering.)

But just imagine if this day was your last...

What would you do?

I know what you'd do.

Nothing different.

Why should you?

You know it's going to end. Hell yeah!, you might as well live today on maximum pleasure.

What if you stretched it out, and someone told you that you had 12 months left?

Would you try to change the world or crave yet more of the hedonistic stuff?

Who really knows?

I suppose in the end, it's how much you value life that really matters. But, judging by the number of people who abuse their bodies, eat to excess and use alcohol as a prop, my summation is that we're just not very serious people. In fact, the easier we can make life -- with all the deleterious consequences that that entails -- the happier we are.

Sorry, I know sounds crap but what I'm really inviting is a more beautiful question than how can I make myself constantly happy 🙂?

Take care.

Blessings,
Julian

You won't change

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

When I look at my life, it's replete with periods of change.

Unfortunately, though, it was no different to changing my clothes.

In short, it might have felt that I'd cast off my persona, in favour of something more empowering, but it didn't take long for the sense of lack to return.

Whilst I'm not saying it had to be this way, it was only when I came close to death (and witnessing others in the same place) that everything changed, and I woke from my narcissistic torpor.

There are many ways to see this but your 'angst is your liberation' (see the teachings of Jun Po Denis Kelly).

But what about you?

Do you feel, despite many brave attempts to fundamentally change your life, you're still playing the same song?

Perhaps you've journeyed within but chances are you've done so (only) with the same sense of purpose that gave you this life.

Of course, I can't make you do anything and in a sense neither can you -- at least from a place of ego. The truth is until the competitive spirit ceases and you stop making that which is formless (i.e. thoughts) into form, only then will you see the world anew.

I know that what I'm saying doesn't cut it in a world of fear, loss and shame, but just think about those people who love for love's sake, have no desire, and fear nothing. They may look like fools or dilettantes, but are they? 

Are they that deluded?

Perhaps you're the one who needs to take a long, hard look at your conditioned self and understand that in trying to control or suppress your thoughts you'll never make the leap into the unknown, let alone change your life.

On reflection, I don't think it's about changing anything save waking up to who you truly are; namely, True Self.

Take care.

Blessings

Julian

Back in the creative groove

“The receptivity of the artist must never be confused with passivity.” 
― Rollo May, The Courage to Create

It's been a while since I've felt like this.

Don't ask me why, but I couldn't summon anything more than enough creative juice to produce this blog and a few posts and recordings to Patreon.

I know it's tempting fate to report on my renewed sense of purpose but, right now, I've this overwhelming sense of needing to create:

poetry

brush calligraphy

sketching

photography

and books.

I don't have a modus operandi. 

I show up.

I either write to my computer or I sit at my other desk on the other side of the room which I reserved for the other stuff, 

and wait...

If something happens, it happens.

If it doesn't. 

So what!

I don't know your thing but even if you have to work for 'The Man', never forget that under all those layers of self-doubt and negative thinking lies a creative genius. 

I'm serious.

It's not just my theory but I believe with all my heart that we're all possessed of something beyond the ken of our current understanding.

My advice: don't waste it watching TV, getting drunk and engaging in social media.

Create as if your life depended on it.

Take care.

Blessings and big love,

Julian

Photo by Clark Young

Mindfulness

A short monologue that I recorded today on mindfulness.

Blessings,

Julian

A new relationship

“It isn't by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world…by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.” 

― Ken Kesey, Kesey's Garage Sale

We're told that to change our lives it requires grit, fortitude and peseverance.

Perhaps it does.

My experience is different.

We need look within and understand three things:

1. Everything changes;
2. When we make emptiness form, we suffer; and
3. When we let go and stop clinging or pushing away, we allow everything to exist in perfect harmony.

There's nothing knew in what I'm saying. Indeed, this is pure Buddhist scripture.

But too many of us never go far enough in our self-enquiry: the reason the world is so angst-ridden is because said humans take seriously what the Gods made for fun, i.e. our thoughts, feelings and emotions.

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

Podcasting

Just listen.

I don't need say much else.

Take care.

Love you all.

Julian

10 Reasons Why You Should Blog

#1 - Because you can.

#2 - You've something to say.

#3 - It's a way to get closer to the real you.

#4 - To help others.

#5 - To make a difference.

#6 - To build a body of work that, one day, might ignite a bigger spark than you ever dreamed possible.

#7 - Because it's fun.

#8 - To learn from others who are prepared to comment.

#9 - To leave a legacy.

#10 - To connect soul with role.

Of course, there are as many reasons not to blog, but if you've learned anything over the course of your life, it's the power of words to change lives.

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

PS. The picture is of Charles Bukowski in reflective mood.

Happiness at work

I'd love to say that, over the space of 35 years (and counting), I'd enjoyed blissful periods at work.

Frankly, it's not even worth counting on one hand: I can't remember a time where I wasn't harried by doing too much, coping with a tide of conflicting messages and trying to use my limited energy in a way that made sense to my fragile soul. 

In any other area of my life, I'd have jack-knifed and given it up in pursuit of something more deserving of my time.

But, unfortunately, by dint of the money and my intermittent sense of self-worth, I hung in there, in the forlorn hope of finding happiness.

What about you?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your experience of work?

If you take your cue from the latest information coming out of Gallop, "85% of employees are not engaged or actively disengaged at work."

This probably means you've scored yourself around 2 or 3. 

Of course, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know; but the more serious point is that if you know this -- qua employee -- so does your employer.

AND WHAT ARE THEY DOING ABOUT IT?

Very little?

Oh sure, they might be investing in a slew of extrinsic rewards, but as Dan Pink wrote about in his excellent book, "Drive", what's important is how self-motivated you are. In other words, to foster and develop intrinsic motivation you need at least 3 things:

autonomy

purpose

mastery

The trouble is, at every turn, at least one of these, if not more, is thwarted.

But, as I've already said, when talking about 'Wicked Problems', the problem is so impossible to solve that stasis is the order of the day.

However, if you look carefully enough, you'll quickly discover a slew of companies who've decided to do it very differently. Call them rebels if you like but I prefer to look at the situation in a slightly more nuanced way. You see, for whatever reason, they've concluded that to apply old-school thinking will produce old-school results, and rather than wait for the system to completely break or to prop up an ailing and moribund one, the most obvious solution is to let people manage themselves.

Like, you know, erm, treat adults like adults?

When you've been used to lots of rules (upon which lots of jobs depend -- e.g. HR, facilities and Compliance), it's hard to see the problem as anything other than a mild relaxation of said rules. But what if you dropped all rules and let people manage everything? And I mean everything including holidays, how much they're paid and what sort of work they do.

Yes it's scary but no more so than waiting for the system to fall apart in the face of AI, virtual working, zero discretionary effort and trying always to keep your foot on the super-duper-but-only-for-a-few profits pedal.

Perhaps my new world sounds too egalitarian, too whimsical or even stupid but from where I sit and a few well-informed souls, we either evolve to a new, more vibrant stage or we die. 

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

Go all the way

But we never do.

We hold back.

We hesitate.

We hide.

Why?

Why is it we're not prepared to go all the way and commit to something all body, mind and spirit?

Name it.

Fear.

Shame.

Guilt.

In my case, I know there have been many times I've started something only to give up because I found something else to pursue. Not necessarily more interesting but it showed up, and grabbed my attention. How pathetic is that?

I can't say now that things are different, but perhaps with the passing of time and the fact that I know I've got less of it to waste, I'm more committed than ever to my Art -- whatever that truly means.

What about you?

What do you need to do to turn your life around?

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

Note: If you're interested I'd love you to jump across to my Patreon page to check out more of my work. 

Life is amazing

A little recording that I set in motion this morning. Enjoy.

Legal careers are dead

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

No, this isn't a debate -- as much I know you'd love to jab, thrust and land a knock out blow.

It's true.

My truth that is.

legal careers are dead...

If I've any advice to aspiring lawyers (aka I want to make it to partner) it's to go do something different with your life. 

Actually, that's not really the case: if you're still connected to the flame that in the beginning, burnt so bright, then my advice is to drop the ego stuff -- i.e. I'm better than everyone else -- and connect.

Connect deeply:

Who am I?

Why am I here [in this profession]?

What do I want my life to look like when it's finally done?

How can I serve?

I repeat.

How can I serve...my soul.

How can I connect to True Self?

How can I stop thinking it's everyone else's fault?

How I can ameliorate my obsession to win?

What is the more beautiful question that, if answered, might blow my heart wide open? (I'll give you a clue. It's not being part of a firm that talks endlessly about billable hours, PEP and WIIFM.)

But seriously, if you're invested in the legal profession and you're struggling to make sense of your life, I recommend you stop reading legal material for a while (unless it's an absolute must) -- e.g. case reports, SRA alerts and The Law Society Gazette (if you practice in another country, substitute the usual dull material that you force yourself to ingest) -- and start reading outside of law.

And no, I'm not suggesting you indulge in a few Jo Nesbo novels or pop psychology but something more insightful. 

Here are a few books that I can highly recommend:

"Enough" by Jack Bogle

"In Search of Excellence" by Bob Waterman Jnr. and Tom Peters

"Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life" by Steven Keeva

"The E-Myth Revisited" by Michael E. Gerber

"The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible" by Charles Eisenstein

"New Seeds of Contemplation" by Thomas Merton

But actually, you don't need to read anything. All you need do, to rebuild your faith in your legal career, is to listen. To listen to what's in your heart. 

Both of us know that if you're shackled to the wheel of working harder than anyone should reasonably expect of you, to generate great gobs of profit (for whom?) that you'll never connect with your True Self.

Of course, you may dismiss all this as utter nonsense and continue to exist inside your own self-made bubble, and that's fine. But sooner rather than later you'll discover you've given most of your life to something that, in all likelihood, was never you in the first place.

Blessings,

Julian

PS. You may want to watch this wonderful tribute to the late Steven Keeva. 

Note: If you're interested I'd love you to jump across to my Patreon page to check out more of my work. Hell, you might even pay me a small sum to keep up the pressure to change the law firm model -- to enable you to connect Soul with Role.

Photo by Luke Palmer

Waking up

In the beginning, it was all about survival.

And then art, commerce and rational intellect.

Now?

What's the next stage of our evolution?

You'd like to think something more worldcentric but it doesn't feel like that.

It feels like we're reverting to type; namely, we're in egocentric mode, where it's all about me, me, me.

I know there are small pockets here and there where people have come together in community and still others where a meme of rediscovery (of a more beautiful world) has built and continues to build a purposeful Tribe but it's still so small compared to the rest of us.

Even in the workplace, it's shameful to see how little we collaborate internally, let alone outwith.

Of course, once again, I'm merely reporting on a blinding-flash-of-the-obvious, but then again, it can't hurt for me and everyone who cares about their community or better still this beautiful planet to move from the handwringing mode -- "I'm powerless to effect change" -- to a space, virtual or otherwise, where they choose to care, they choose to make a difference and they choose to get off their hands and do something else apart from look out for number 1.

But then again, knowing our species, I suspect we'll have to wait long after I'm dead and a shock of such epic proportion for us to wake up to the mess we've made of this once magical place.

Blessings as always,

Julian

Photo by Mike Enerio

A few thoughts...

"Thank you."

Sincere appreciation goes a long, long way in any relationship.

"I love you."

We can never say those words enough.

"I'm grateful..."

To be here -- right now, in this moment.

"You can change if you want to."

No more hand-wringing, please. JFDI.

"Please listen."

Deeply listen to yourself.

"Listen without an opinion."

You can do it. Trust me, if you take this to heart it will smash all illusions.

"Beginner's mind."

Life is awesome. Life is amazing. The trouble is, we're so up in our heads, we miss it.

"Let go."

Radical acceptance in other words. Of course, we want to talk about our scars but what if we accepted them and everything else?

"No."

Stop doing so much. There will come a time where your body and mind will determine what you can or cannot do. Until then, try not to burn the candles at both ends.

"Stop praying for a miracle."

Seriously. As Mr Whitman said: "I am Large, I contain Multitudes."

Enjoy your weekend.

Blessings and big love

Julian

PS. My best mate is still here. Still fighting for his life. My prayers and love remain every present in my life.

The factory mindset

Work should be uplifting.

Instead, most people see it as a means to a (financial) end.

I accept that there are exceptions, but there's a world of difference between being your work and enjoying it.

These days, I hear lots of talk about employee engagement, wellbeing and doing 'great' work (whatever that means) but to my mind, these are all superficial. I mean, if it were otherwise we wouldn't have to read survey after repeated survey wearily reporting the disengagement of the workforce.

Personally, I blame it on the Victorians. Weren't they the ones who commoditised our souls in and around the factory -- which, even though the office environs are a lot better, still persists to this day?

But, and here's the kicker: we're also at fault.

Meaning: we're complicit in not challenging our Masters, and asking for something a lot better; namely, a place of work that allows us to become who we truly are -- all body, mind and spirit.

You'd be right to think, qua owner or boss, "That's not my/our job", but I disagree. More than that, I think it's negligent to allow people to wallow in their disenfranchised state and pass it off as the price we pay for the security of employment.

The trouble is, the world is changing at such a pace that if employers don't grasp this True Self nettle, then the robots and the more enlightened employees most definitely will.

Just think about it for a moment. Here we are telling our kids that they too can have what we've got but they have to be prepared to pay a great price -- i.e. they've got to pay with their lives.

"No thanks."

[As a father to three amazing girls, I speak from personal experience. All they want is to do work that matters with lots of fun and travel thrown in. They've no intention, or so they tell me, of playing by the rules that I took so earnestly to heart.]

So, if you're an employer, my strongest advice is to get with the programme. Go wander about and look at a few radical companies. Talk to your people about what they actually want -- it won't always be more money. And, most of all, drop your old and out of date belief-system and picture the world anew.

Of course, you may decide to bury your head in the sand and that's fine, but you may find, in the years to come, it gets harder and harder to convince people of your story of work.

Blessings

Julian

Personal transformation

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

― Albert Einstein

How many times have you heard or read this quote?

What does it mean?

To transcend your current reality or something much, much bigger?

Think about it.

How do you raise your consciousness?

Perhaps you need to consider your beliefs. Can you drop them to allow in something more beautiful?

The thing is, if we truly want to change our lives and those we serve, we have to find a way to outsmart our ego. If we don't, then we'll remain fastened to the wheel of small self.

Is there a practice that might help?

Yes. 

To be fully present to this moment.

Personally, I do that in zazen but even in witnessing mode -- i.e. you witness your thoughts -- there's a step change.

I suppose in the end it comes down to one key thing: how much do you value (your) life? 

I mean, if you're just about OK with how things are then you'll never look beyond your current world order.

Blessings and much love

Julian

What are you waiting for?

I love life.

Again.

I love life.

Sure, it's replete with angst, pain and discord but I wouldn't have it any other way.

My work, if it's about anything, is to convince you that you should and can do anything.

Not to live out of ego but to come alive to True Self.

And that means dealing with your deepest fears, acknowledging your frailty and challenging your worldview.

Of course, if you think it's out there, it will never happen -- i.e. bliss-consciousness. You'll be wrapped so far around your finger of death-dealing fear that you'll give up at the merest whiff of failure.

My mantra:

awaken, to true self.

That simply means to come alive all body, mind and spirit.

In essence, not to give a f*ck what others think and lean into life with everything you've got.

I mean, come on, if someone told you today that this day was all you had, do you seriously think you'd live out of fear and do what you're told or been conditioned to believe is real?

Blessings,

Julian

Your angst is your liberation

I know, it sounds whacky:

"What, you mean I've literally got to go to the edge [and sometimes beyond] to move forward with my life?"

Yes.

You see the thing is, we all have a map of the world. Mostly (if you study the AQAL model of Ken Wilber) it's rooted in one of the four quadrants. I'd hazard a guess, it's in the quadrant devoted to the materialist, i.e. the person who makes sense of their life by trying to order the outside world.

But it never works.

For a start, our reality doesn't work that way -- it's an inside-out job in case you hadn't noticed. Not just that but even the most determined and or deluded person in the world (except Donald Trump of course) can't order their circumstances so that none of their outside-in plates drop out the sky.

Where does that leave you?

In a bad place; namely, you keep going round and round in circles where unless you're able to wake up your state of consciousness towards something more non-dual, you'll continue to play the same internal monologue, i.e. I can't make sense of this world.

You might be one of the lucky few -- the very few -- who wake up to samadhi or True Self but it's unlikely. Of course, you might deliberately decide to place yourself in even more harm's way in the hope of making your angst so bad that you immediately manifest a non-dual state. Trust me, I wouldn't recommend it. In fact, I think it's stupid to try to engineer an even worse fight or flight response. Worse still, it might be fatal!

No, if there's one thing I'd do is accept that the unexamined life is your life's work and by enquiring within you may not wake up to True Self but you might live with more equanimity in a world that's intent on crushing your soul.

Blessings,

Julian

Photo by Joshua Sortino

Falling down

Never be afraid to fail.

In fact, if you live on the edge but never leap, you'll never come alive to True Self.

Of course, in this Instagram et al. world, everything's f*cking perfect.

It's not.

It's sh*t.

It's hard.

It's death dealing.

But then again, right now, is the universal God that exists for us all if we'd only get out the way.

Perhaps it's me but I'm sick to death of everyone telling me how perfect their life is and how by dint of changing my habits, I can have a better life.

NO I CAN'T.

And I don't want it that way.

I want to know that I gave a sh*t and gave it my best shot. So what if I don't have a slew of toys and faux experiences to mark my life.

I want it real.

And that means falling down again and again and carrying on in the face of insuperable odds -- mostly of my own construction.

In the end, all I'd say is that the more real you can make it the better. Don't compromise for anything. Be contrary. Shout the odds when you see inequality. Don't give up on what you believe is true.

As if I needed to remind you, life is very short.

Now go make it happen.

Big love,

Julian

Is this the life you want?

Right now.

In this moment.

Not tomorrow, nor yesterday.

It's a simple question but it carries with it such import.

Of course, you can parse it up -- e.g. work, social, money, career, family, love -- but what I'm referring to is:

is the life you're living allowing you to be you -- all body, mind and spirit?

If that sounds too much to take on, then simply focus on the physical body.

Are you looking after yourself?

Right food?

Right sleep?

Right exercise?

If not, why not?

Possibly it's because your mind -- your thinking self -- isn't on it.

If that's the case, perhaps you need to undertake (not for the first time) a process of radical self-enquiry, namely, Who am I?.

The thing is, despite what we're told, life is not perfection. It's what is, right now, in this moment. But it pays to follow your instinct just once in a while and go through your fear, not round it, as otherwise you really will find that in a few years time life has passed you by to the point where the effort of change is simply not worth it.

Let me ask you again, is this the life you want?

Blessings,

Julian

Words that define you

I don't mean labels -- e.g. lawyer, doctor, entrepreneur -- rather those that shine a light on True Self:

Compassion
Kindness
Thoughtfulness
Love
Tenderness
Silence
Open-hearted
Warm
Giving

This is never about perfection -- a bit of shadow work never goes amiss -- but instead being the change that you want to see.

More to the point, when someone stands to give your eulogy, how would you like to be remembered? For the things you did, the stuff you owned or the people you touched?

Blessings,

Julian

Photo by Jez Timms

Returning to Zen

Zen is life.

Life is Zen.

No dogma. No creed. No right or wrong.

Don't ask me why but Zen has returned both in practice and form.

Will it last?

Who knows, but having a practice and being held by a beautiful sangha is everything.

Right now, I've no expectation.

I'm moved.

That's enough.

Blessings,

Julian

Paying attention

In this busy, chaotic world, we're disposed to do as much as possible.

Instead, do one thing at a time...with full attention (all body, mind and spirit).

Do it as if it was life and death.

Extreme?

Not really.

Because, if you think about it, doing one thing with full attention is life.

(If instead, you're racing through things as quickly as possible then you'll likely lose touch with reality but worse still, you'll end up feeling that little of what you've done really mattered.)

Blessings,

Julian

Photo by Isaac Benhesed

Steven Pressfield on Investments

Here is the link to the short blog piece which explains more about Mr Pressfield's choices but in case you want to skip the read, here's the quote that particularly grabbed my attention:

“I’ve never invested in the stock market or taken a risk on anything outside myself. I decided a long time ago that I would only bet on myself. I will risk two years on a book that’ll probably fall flat on its face. I don’t mind. I tried. It didn’t work. I believe in investing in your heart. That’s all I do, really. I’m a servant of the Muse. All money is on her.” -- Steve Pressfield

I suppose it begs the question, what are you investing in?

Blessings,

Julian

Don't look back in anger

Yes, I know it's a rip off of the Oasis song, but it's how so many people live their lives: backwards.

At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, the past is the past.

It's over.

Done.

Finished.

And in case you want to argue otherwise, whatever you think it is, it isn't now: it's just a memory trace which you fuel by (mostly) an unhealthy addiction to your thoughts.

But, as I keep saying over and over, you are not your thoughts. You might think you are but you're not, no more so than your arm, your leg or your heart -- all essential for survival and which make up our supposed being-ness.

The truth is I don't much care if that's where you live. It's your choice.

What I care about is pointing to reality, i.e. True Self, where you live fully present to this moment, in all that it offers.

You might think it's better here than there (in the past). It's not. It's not anything. It's before thinking; it's before you get lost in your thoughts; it's awareness of no-thing.

Be there, now.

No, don't try and turn off your thinking -- as if you could! -- but drop the notion that you need to get anywhere to be anything and witness all that arises -- thoughts, feelings, emotions.

Better still sit in silence for an hour with your eyes open or shut and say nothing, do nothing and stop wishing for anything in particular.

But you won't I bet because you want something to come of it. You want the Big Prize that everyone else is promising; namely, to be this uber version of yourself.

Trust me, sitting still for an hour per day isn't going to give you that. It's not going to give you anything except perhaps a greater awareness of everything that you're not.

In the end though, all of this -- living in the past etc. -- is a choice. You're either willed to enquire within or you're not, and nothing I say will make any difference. But trust me, one day you'll understand that in living out of your thinking and accepting it as true was the day that life passed you by.

Blessings,

Julian

What is your calling?

“With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you - that's my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”
― Osho

What is it that you're called to do?

Is it what you're doing with your life?

If not, why not?

One thing to note: you're unlikely -- no, make that very unlikely -- to find it chained behind a desk.

If you must look anywhere, my strongest advice is to look within.

And no, this isn't about scratching all those daft itches -- the feeling of having to do something will soon pass -- but instead to realise True Self.

If that doesn't mean anything to you, what I'm referring to is you looking beyond your putative passion or even what you enjoy doing, but instead to understand that you don't will your will and only when you surrender fully to this moment (over and over) will you start to see that in seeking something, you're just as likely to move further away from True Self as you are closer to it.

Let me try and put this less prosaically. Work is not your calling. Being fully alive, fully human, and radically accepting everything, is.

Think about the people you know who you would describe as innately happy. In my experience -- particularly when I think about my late grandparents, Peter and Lorna -- they weren't obsessed with getting or doing anything. If they had an obsession it was in deepening their love for each other and being closer to God -- they were Methodists. In that space, I would say they were their calling.

Again, what about you?

What is your calling?

Are you already it without perhaps seeing it that way?

Blessings,

Julian

Too many words

“Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment.” 
― Chögyam Trungpa

I'm sure everyone is well-meaning, but, seriously, I don't need to see any more posts or articles on what I and, presumably, everyone else needs to do differently in 2018 (compared to 2017).

Blah, bloody blah.

The truth is, you don't need to go anywhere, be anything different or manifest another uber 'knock-it-out-the-park' habit.

Why?

Because you're already perfect.

And no, I don't mean in the egoic, look-at-me 😀😃😃😃sense. 

I mean where else do you expect to find happiness et al. other than right where you stand?

Here's the thing: reality depends on you; you don't depend on reality.

If you need or want to change your reality -- e.g. try to think different or better thoughts -- then go right ahead, but you'll fail. And that's why all the posts, supposed aphorisms and even Tweets won't help you one jot.

If you need do anything, then you need to look within and ask yourself the simple but profound question:

"What am I?".

Or put it another way, what is there before (your) thinking?

Trust me, this is hard. In fact, most people give up almost immediately on investigating the question, not only because the question is impossible to answer but it raises all manner of dark clouds, e.g. you don't actually know who you are beyond a bushel of thoughts, or the product of your social conditioning or what, up to now, you've chosen to accept as reality.

In case you think I'm making this up, to make myself look something different from you, I'm not. In fact, up until the age of 43, I honestly thought, based on some dodgy thinking and one or two stupid books ("Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill always comes to mind), that if I could control or at least manage my thinking, life could be lived on my terms.

But then...

I had a nasty whack to the head, and woke up by dint of reading The Heart Sutra (see "Hard Core Zen" by Brad Warner) and "Who am I?" by Ramana Maharshi.

Of course, it would be wonderful to report that 'KERPOW' 💥I found myself a realized being 🙏but I didn't. (Blast. There goes that plan.)

In truth, and as best as I can describe things, all illusions were shattered.

No longer did I see the world as a reflection of my thoughts, feelings and emotions. If I felt anything (and this feeling state persists to this day), it's a sense of unity with what is. That's not to say that I don't get caught up in my egoic ('me' or 'I') thinking but as long I stay open to what is, witness the thoughts, feelings and emotions from a place of presence, I'm not at the mercy of my thought-induced reality.

But, here again, I'm using far too many words!

As I've oft quoted, if there's anything to practice it can be summed up in Osho, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's few words:

"Be -- drop becoming".

Try that for size.

Anyhow, I suspect by now you're totally lost. And that's fine. But, seriously, before you read another 'get better, 'do more' or 'big-it-up' post or article, ask yourself the question, "Am I my thoughts?". If you think you are, then perhaps consider why, up to now, you've not been able to flick a switch in a way that negates all the angst in your life driven in no small measure with you arguing with reality, i.e. what is.

Blessings

Julian

Photo by Joshua Earle 

Mindfulness isn't...

A label to add to the other two dozen you've amassed.

Something to sell as a new productivity tool.

A badge of honour.

A way to make people inferior if they don't get 'it'.

A practice that only finds home in one area of your life.

A way to exit from life's travails.

A way to talk and act differently to true self.

A course, retreat or YouTube video.

No, mindfulness is everything.

It's life.

But not the life where you live on the edge between this moment and the one you're chasing.

Mindfulness is now.

This breath -- the in, the out and the rest in between.

It means above all paying attention, fully.

If you need a question to inform your mindfulness practice, try the first koan from the Mondo Zen Training Manual:

"Is it possible to just purely listen? Can you listen without an opinion?"

You can shorten this to one word: listen.

Yes, that's it.

Mindfulness is to listen.

Listen.

Listen.

Listen.

Have a wonderful day.

Blessings,

Julian

Life -- our greatest teacher

It's that time of the year where everyone is riding the crest of another set of New Year resolutions.

Not me.

Like I've been saying over and over, there's nothing to do, nowhere to go and nothing to get.

There just is.

In any event, who is it that's obsessed with betterment?

Better than what?

Living.

Truth is, life is the best teacher. Period.

Anger, frustration, separation from reality and all the other areas that still catch you out. I'd look there -- thoughts, feelings, sensations -- and not outwith at another set of faux goals.

Oh, and money. Always the money. (One simple question is all you need: "What's enough?")

And no, this isn't about perfection. This is about your being judicious with where you spend your time and expend your energy.

What am I really saying?

In a nutshell. Stop worrying about what you're not, focus on true self and stop obsessing for a better life.

Blessings,

Julian

Photo by paul morris