Julian Summerhayes

You'd think, knowing that, we'd seek something more fulfilling than a life of faux experiences but it's not how we're conditioned to behave. In fact, it's worse that that. We want it now. All of it: money, prestige, fame, love and material stuff. (On the opposite side of this meme, we've this huge aversion to any form of suffering.) But just imagine if this day was your last... What would you do? I know what you'd do. Nothing different. Why should you? You know it's going to end. Hell yeah!, you might as well live today on maximum pleasure. What if you stretched it out, and someone told you that you had 12 months left? Would you try to change the world or crave yet more of the hedonistic stuff? Who really knows? I suppose in the end, it's how much you value life that really matters. But, judging by the number of people who abuse their bodies, eat to excess and use alcohol as a prop, my summation is that we're just ...

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.”  ―  Friedrich Nietzsche When I look at my life, it's replete with periods of change. Unfortunately, though, it was no different to changing my clothes. In short, it might have felt that I'd cast off my persona, in favour of something more empowering, but it didn't take long for the sense of lack to return. Whilst I'm not saying it had to be this way, it was only when I came close to death (and witnessing others in the same place) that everything changed, and I woke from my narcissistic torpor. There are many ways to see this but your 'angst is your liberation' (see the teachings of  Jun Po Denis Kelly ). But what about you? Do you feel, despite many brave attempts to fundamentally change your life, you're still playing the same song? Perhaps you've journeyed within but chances are you've ...

“The receptivity of the artist must never be confused with passivity.”  ―  Rollo May ,  The Courage to Create It's been a while since I've felt like this. Don't ask me why, but I couldn't summon anything more than enough creative juice to produce this blog and a few posts and recordings to Patreon. I know it's tempting fate to report on my renewed sense of purpose but, right now, I've this overwhelming sense of needing to create: poetry brush calligraphy sketching photography and books. I don't have a modus operandi.  I show up. I either write to my computer or I sit at my other desk on the other side of the room which I reserved for the other stuff,  and wait... If something happens, it happens. If it doesn't.  So what! I don't know your thing but even if you have to work for 'The Man', never forget that under all those layers of self-doubt and negative thinking lies a creative genius.  I'm serious. ...

A short monologue that I recorded today on mindfulness. Blessings, Julian

“It isn't by getting out of the world that we become enlightened, but by getting into the world…by getting so tuned in that we can ride the waves of our existence and never get tossed because we become the waves.”  ―  Ken Kesey ,  Kesey's Garage Sale We're told that to change our lives it requires grit, fortitude and peseverance. Perhaps it does. My experience is different. We need look within and understand three things: Everything changes; When we make emptiness form, we suffer; and When we let go and stop clinging or pushing away, we allow everything to exist in perfect harmony. There's nothing knew in what I'm saying. Indeed, this is pure Buddhist scripture. But too many of us never go far enough in our self-enquiry: the reason the world is so angst-ridden is because said humans take seriously what the Gods made for fun, i.e. our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Take care. Blessings, Julian

Just listen. I don't need say much else. Take care. Love you all. Julian

#1 - Because you can. #2 - You've something to say. #3 - It's a way to get closer to the real you. #4 - To help others. #5 - To make a difference. #6 - To build a body of work that, one day, might ignite a bigger spark than you ever dreamed possible. #7 - Because it's fun. #8 - To learn from others who are prepared to comment. #9 - To leave a legacy. #10 - To connect soul with role. Of course, there are as many reasons not to blog, but if you've learned anything over the course of your life, it's the power of words to change lives. Take care. Blessings, Julian PS. The picture is of Charles Bukowski in reflective mood.

I'd love to say that, over the space of 35 years (and counting), I'd enjoyed blissful periods at work. Frankly, it's not even worth counting on one hand: I can't remember a time where I wasn't harried by doing too much, coping with a tide of conflicting messages and trying to use my limited energy in a way that made sense to my fragile soul.  In any other area of my life, I'd have jack-knifed and given it up in pursuit of something more deserving of my time. But, unfortunately, by dint of the money and my intermittent sense of self-worth, I hung in there, in the forlorn hope of finding happiness. What about you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your experience of work? If you take your cue from the latest information coming out of Gallop , " 85% of employees are not engaged or actively disengaged at work." This probably means you've scored yourself around 2 or 3.  Of course, I'm not telling you anyt...

But we never do. We hold back. We hesitate. We hide. Why? Why is it we're not prepared to go all the way and commit to something all body, mind and spirit? Name it. Fear. Shame. Guilt. In my case, I know there have been many times I've started something only to give up because I found something else to pursue. Not necessarily more interesting but it showed up, and grabbed my attention. How pathetic is that? I can't say now that things are different, but perhaps with the passing of time and the fact that I know I've got less of it to waste, I'm more committed than ever to my Art -- whatever that truly means. What about you? What do you need to do to turn your life around? Take care. Blessings, Julian Note: If you're interested I'd love you to jump across to my Patreon  page  to check out more of my work. 

A little recording that I set in motion this morning. Enjoy.

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”   ―  Martin Luther King Jr. No, this isn't a debate -- as much I know you'd love to jab, thrust and land a knock out blow. It's true. My truth that is. legal careers are dead... If I've any advice to aspiring lawyers (aka I want to make it to partner) it's to go do something different with your life.  Actually, that's not really the case: if you're still connected to the flame that in the beginning, burnt so bright, then my advice is to drop the ego stuff -- i.e. I'm better than everyone else -- and connect. Connect deeply: Who am I? Why am I here [in this profession]? What do I want my life to look like when it's finally done? How can I serve? I repeat. How can I serve...my soul. How can...

In the beginning, it was all about survival. And then art, commerce and rational intellect. Now? What's the next stage of our evolution? You'd like to think something more worldcentric  but it doesn't feel like that. It feels like we're reverting to type; namely, we're in egocentric mode, where it's all about me, me, me. I know there are small pockets here and there where people have come together in community and still others where a meme of rediscovery (of a more beautiful world) has built and continues to build a purposeful Tribe but it's still so small compared to the rest of us. Even in the workplace, it's shameful to see how little we collaborate internally, let alone outwith. Of course, once again, I'm merely reporting on a blinding-flash-of-the-obvious, but then again, it can't hurt for me and everyone who cares about their community or better still this beautiful planet to move from the handwringing mode -- "I...

"Thank you." Sincere appreciation goes a long, long way in any relationship. "I love you." We can never say those words enough. "I'm grateful..." To be here -- right now, in this moment. "You can change if you want to." No more hand-wringing, please. JFDI. "Please listen." Deeply listen to yourself. "Listen without an opinion." You can do it. Trust me, if you take this to heart it will smash all illusions. "Beginner's mind." Life is awesome. Life is amazing. The trouble is, we're so up in our heads, we miss it. "Let go." Radical acceptance in other words. Of course, we want to talk about our scars but what if we accepted them and everything else? "No." Stop doing so much. There will come a time where your body and mind will determine what you can or cannot do. Until then, try not to burn the candles at both ends. "Stop praying for a miracle....

Work should be uplifting. Instead, most people see it as a means to a (financial) end. I accept that there are exceptions, but there's a world of difference between being your work and enjoying it. These days, I hear lots of talk about employee engagement, wellbeing and doing 'great' work (whatever that means) but to my mind, these are all superficial. I mean, if it were otherwise we wouldn't have to read survey after repeated survey wearily reporting the disengagement of the workforce. Personally, I blame it on the Victorians. Weren't they the ones who commoditised our souls in and around the factory -- which, even though the office environs are a lot better, still persists to this day? But, and here's the kicker: we're also at fault. Meaning: we're complicit in not challenging our Masters, and asking for something a lot better; namely, a place of work that allows us to become who we truly are -- all body, mind and spirit. You'd be ...

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” ― Albert Einstein How many times have you heard or read this quote? What does it mean? To transcend your current reality or something much, much bigger? Think about it. How do you raise your consciousness? Perhaps you need to consider your beliefs. Can you drop them to allow in something more beautiful? The thing is, if we truly want to change our lives and those we serve, we have to find a way to outsmart our ego. If we don't, then we'll remain fastened to the wheel of small self. Is there a practice that might help? Yes.  To be fully present to this moment. Personally, I do that in zazen but even in witnessing mode -- i.e. you witness your thoughts -- there's a step change. I suppose in the end it comes down to one key thing: how much do you value (your) life?  I mean, if you're just about OK with how things are then you'll ne...

I love life. Again. I love life. Sure, it's replete with angst, pain and discord but I wouldn't have it any other way. My work, if it's about anything, is to convince you that you should and can do anything. Not to live out of ego but to come alive to True Self. And that means dealing with your deepest fears, acknowledging your frailty and challenging your worldview. Of course, if you think it's out there, it will never happen -- i.e. bliss-consciousness. You'll be wrapped so far around your finger of death-dealing fear that you'll give up at the merest whiff of failure. My mantra: awaken, to true self. That simply means to come alive all body, mind and spirit. In essence, not to give a f*ck what others think and lean into life with everything you've got. I mean, come on, if someone told you today that this day was all you had, do you seriously think you'd live out of fear and do what you're told or been conditioned to beli...

I know, it sounds whacky: "What, you mean I've literally got to go to the edge [and sometimes beyond] to move forward with my life?" Yes. You see the thing is, we all have a map of the world. Mostly (if you study the AQAL model  of Ken Wilber) it's rooted in one of the four quadrants. I'd hazard a guess, it's in the quadrant devoted to the materialist, i.e. the person who makes sense of their life by trying  to order the outside world. But it never works. For a start, our reality doesn't work that way -- it's an inside-out job in case you hadn't noticed. Not just that but even the most determined and or deluded person in the world (except Donald Trump of course) can't order their circumstances so that none of their outside-in plates drop out the sky. Where does that leave you? In a bad place; namely, you keep going round and round in circles where unless you're able to wake up your state of consciousness towards something m...

Never be afraid to fail. In fact, if you live on the edge but never leap, you'll never come alive to True Self. Of course, in this Instagram et al. world, everything's f*cking perfect. It's not. It's sh*t. It's hard. It's death dealing. But then again, right now, is the universal God that exists for us all if we'd only get out the way. Perhaps it's me but I'm sick to death of everyone telling me how perfect their life is and how by dint of changing my habits, I can have a better life. NO I CAN'T. And I don't want it that way. I want to know that I gave a sh*t and gave it my best shot. So what if I don't have a slew of toys and faux experiences to mark my life. I want it real. And that means falling down again and again and carrying on in the face of insuperable odds -- mostly of my own construction. In the end, all I'd say is that the more real you can make it the better. Don't compromise for any...

Right now. In this moment. Not tomorrow, nor yesterday. It's a simple question but it carries with it such import. Of course, you can parse it up -- e.g. work, social, money, career, family, love -- but what I'm referring to is: is the life you're living allowing you to be you -- all body, mind and spirit? If that sounds too much to take on, then simply focus on the physical body. Are you looking after yourself? Right food? Right sleep? Right exercise? If not, why not? Possibly it's because your mind -- your thinking self -- isn't on it. If that's the case, perhaps you need to undertake (not for the first time) a process of radical self-enquiry, namely, Who am I?. The thing is, despite what we're told, life is not perfection. It's what is, right now, in this moment. But it pays to follow your instinct just once in a while and go through your fear, not round it, as otherwise you really will find that in a few years time life...

I don't mean labels -- e.g. lawyer, doctor, entrepreneur -- rather those that shine a light on True Self: Compassion Kindness Thoughtfulness Love Tenderness Silence Open-hearted Warm Giving This is never about perfection -- a bit of shadow work never goes amiss -- but instead being the change that you want to see. More to the point, when someone stands to give your eulogy, how would you like to be remembered? For the things you did, the stuff you owned or the people you touched? Blessings, Julian Photo by  Jez Timms

Zen is life. Life is Zen. No dogma. No creed. No right or wrong. Don't ask me why but Zen has returned both in practice and form. Will it last? Who knows, but having a practice and being held by a beautiful sangha is everything. Right now, I've no expectation. I'm moved. That's enough. Blessings, Julian

In this busy, chaotic world, we're disposed to do as much as possible. Instead, do one thing at a time...with full attention (all body, mind and spirit). Do it as if it was life and death. Extreme? Not really. Because, if you think about it, doing one thing with full attention is life. (If instead, you're racing through things as quickly as possible then you'll likely lose touch with reality but worse still, you'll end up feeling that little of what you've done really mattered.) Blessings, Julian Photo by  Isaac Benhesed

Here is the link to the short blog piece which explains more about Mr Pressfield's choices but in case you want to skip the read, here's the quote that particularly grabbed my attention: “I’ve never invested in the stock market or taken a risk on anything outside myself. I decided a long time ago that I would only bet on myself. I will risk two years on a book that’ll probably fall flat on its face. I don’t mind. I tried. It didn’t work. I believe in investing in your heart. That’s all I do, really. I’m a servant of the Muse. All money is on her.” -- Steve Pressfield I suppose it begs the question, what are you investing in? Blessings, Julian

Yes, I know it's a rip off of the Oasis song, but it's how so many people live their lives: backwards. At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, the past is the past. It's over. Done. Finished. And in case you want to argue otherwise, whatever you think it is, it isn't now: it's just a memory trace which you fuel by (mostly) an unhealthy addiction to your thoughts. But, as I keep saying over and over , you are not your thoughts. You might think you are but you're not, no more so than your arm, your leg or your heart -- all essential for survival and which make up our supposed being-ness. The truth is I don't much care if that's where you live. It's your choice. What I care about is pointing to reality, i.e. True Self, where you live fully present to this moment, in all that it offers. You might think it's better here than there (in the past). It's not. It's not anything. It's before thinking; it's before y...

“With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you - that's my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.” ― Osho What is it that you're called to do? Is it what you're doing with your life? If not, why not? One thing to note: you're unlikely -- no, make that very unlikely -- to find it chained behind a desk. If you must look anywhere, my strongest advice is to look within. And no, this isn't about scratching all those daft itches -- the feeling of having to do something will soon pass -- but instead to realise True Self. If that doesn't mean anything to you, what I'm referring to is you looking beyond your putative passion or even what you enjoy doing, but instead to understand that you don't will your will and only when you surrender fully to this moment (over...

“Enlightenment is ego's ultimate disappointment.”  ―  Chögyam Trungpa I'm sure everyone is well-meaning, but, seriously, I don't need to see any more posts or articles on what I and, presumably, everyone else needs to do differently in 2018 (compared to 2017). Blah, bloody blah. The truth is, you don't need to go anywhere, be anything different or manifest another uber 'knock-it-out-the-park' habit. Why? Because you're already perfect. And no, I don't mean in the egoic, look-at-me 😀😃😃😃sense.  I mean where else do you expect to find happiness et al. other than right where you stand? Here's the thing: reality depends on you; you don't depend on reality. If you need or want to change your reality -- e.g. try to think different or better thoughts -- then go right ahead, but you'll fail.  And that's why all the posts, supposed aphorisms and even Tweets won't help you one jot. If you need do anything, then you ne...

A label to add to the other two dozen you've amassed. Something to sell as a new productivity tool. A badge of honour. A way to make people inferior if they don't get 'it'. A practice that only finds home in one area of your life. A way to exit from life's travails. A way to talk and act differently to true self. A course, retreat or YouTube video. No, mindfulness is everything. It's life. But not the life where you live on the edge between this moment and the one you're chasing. Mindfulness is now. This breath -- the in, the out and the rest in between. It means above all paying attention, fully. If you need a question to inform your mindfulness practice, try the first koan from the Mondo Zen Training Manual: "Is it possible to just purely listen? Can you listen without an opinion?" You can shorten this to one word: listen. Yes, that's it. Mindfulness is to listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Have a w...

It's that time of the year where everyone is riding the crest of another set of New Year resolutions. Not me. Like I've been saying over and over, there's nothing to do, nowhere to go and nothing to get . There just is. In any event, who is it that's obsessed with betterment? Better than what? Living. Truth is, life is the best teacher. Period. Anger, frustration, separation from reality and all the other areas that still catch you out. I'd look there -- thoughts, feelings, sensations -- and not outwith at another set of faux goals. Oh, and money. Always the money. (One simple question is all you need: "What's enough?") And no, this isn't about perfection. This is about your being judicious with where you spend your time and expend your energy. What am I really saying? In a nutshell. Stop worrying about what you're not, focus on true self and stop obsessing for a better life. Blessings, Julian Photo by  paul mo...