Taking a break

“Creativity takes courage.” 
― Henri Matisse

If you follow me on Twitter you'll have seen me say that I'm scaling back on social media. That means I'll no longer post very much to Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr (I've not been there a while), Instagram or LinkedIn. I'll still be recording monologues on Podbean but probably only once a week -- I've yet to decide on the day but it's likely to be a Monday. If I write anywhere then it will be limited to Patreon.

In terms of blogging, both here and on my main site, I've decided to stop writing a regular post. To be honest, I should have done this years ago. It's not that I haven't enjoyed the practice (and I hope you've gained something by reading it/them) but, the truth is, it's stopped me from writing to be published -- my ultimate aim.

This isn't an easy decision, but there's no longer a link between the need to write online and what I want to do with my life.

I'm sure in this digiital age there will come a time where I'll have to refresh my online presence and strike up the band, but for now, I'm taking things offline in the hope that I can bring to bear my creative energy in a fundamentally different way.

Henceforth my main focus will be:

poetry
writing
calligraphy

I know that in every area I'll have to go back to basics, not only to understand and learn my craft -- if you can call it that -- but in the hope that I actually discover the depths of what moves me to create. Of course, I need not go this wide and could just as easily stick to writing, but I know that's not where my heart speaks loudest. 

If you're wondering why now I've decided to go all the way with my creative endeavours, I think it comes out of the fact that I've given up or been forced to abandon my wish to build a business. You see, when I look back on the last 8 years, I can see that far from building something which looks remotely like a business, all I've succeeded in doing is thrashing about looking for meaning in my work but moving no further than a few different job descriptions and slightly better work environs.

The truth is -- "my truth, folks" -- I've not sold anything that people want to buy. I mean, come on, if it were otherwise I'd have a business to my name, not a series of self-employed gigs.

Am I comfortable making this announcement? 

Not really.

It sucks. But then again, it's far better that I pull the tiny plug now before it causes me and my family any more angst. Sure, I'll have to hunker down again qua employee -- I've been in that role for at least three years anyway -- but it won't matter because outside of work I'll still have the love of my family and their appreciation for the fact that whatever I do it comes from a place of love and service. 

But I think there's something much bigger in play than all this superficial angst:

True Self.

Cal it God, reality, Buddha or Big Mind but all I'm really doing is being birthed each day to do something that speaks to my soul. 

End of.

Or to put it less prosaically, to answer my calling.

Thank you again for all the support you've shown over these years. It's been very important to me.

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

Go all the way

But we never do.

We hold back.

We hesitate.

We hide.

Why?

Why is it we're not prepared to go all the way and commit to something all body, mind and spirit?

Name it.

Fear.

Shame.

Guilt.

In my case, I know there have been many times I've started something only to give up because I found something else to pursue. Not necessarily more interesting but it showed up, and grabbed my attention. How pathetic is that?

I can't say now that things are different, but perhaps with the passing of time and the fact that I know I've got less of it to waste, I'm more committed than ever to my Art -- whatever that truly means.

What about you?

What do you need to do to turn your life around?

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

Note: If you're interested I'd love you to jump across to my Patreon page to check out more of my work. 

Legal careers are dead

“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

No, this isn't a debate -- as much I know you'd love to jab, thrust and land a knock out blow.

It's true.

My truth that is.

legal careers are dead...

If I've any advice to aspiring lawyers (aka I want to make it to partner) it's to go do something different with your life. 

Actually, that's not really the case: if you're still connected to the flame that in the beginning, burnt so bright, then my advice is to drop the ego stuff -- i.e. I'm better than everyone else -- and connect.

Connect deeply:

Who am I?

Why am I here [in this profession]?

What do I want my life to look like when it's finally done?

How can I serve?

I repeat.

How can I serve...my soul.

How can I connect to True Self?

How can I stop thinking it's everyone else's fault?

How I can ameliorate my obsession to win?

What is the more beautiful question that, if answered, might blow my heart wide open? (I'll give you a clue. It's not being part of a firm that talks endlessly about billable hours, PEP and WIIFM.)

But seriously, if you're invested in the legal profession and you're struggling to make sense of your life, I recommend you stop reading legal material for a while (unless it's an absolute must) -- e.g. case reports, SRA alerts and The Law Society Gazette (if you practice in another country, substitute the usual dull material that you force yourself to ingest) -- and start reading outside of law.

And no, I'm not suggesting you indulge in a few Jo Nesbo novels or pop psychology but something more insightful. 

Here are a few books that I can highly recommend:

"Enough" by Jack Bogle

"In Search of Excellence" by Bob Waterman Jnr. and Tom Peters

"Transforming Practices: Finding Joy and Satisfaction in the Legal Life" by Steven Keeva

"The E-Myth Revisited" by Michael E. Gerber

"The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible" by Charles Eisenstein

"New Seeds of Contemplation" by Thomas Merton

But actually, you don't need to read anything. All you need do, to rebuild your faith in your legal career, is to listen. To listen to what's in your heart. 

Both of us know that if you're shackled to the wheel of working harder than anyone should reasonably expect of you, to generate great gobs of profit (for whom?) that you'll never connect with your True Self.

Of course, you may dismiss all this as utter nonsense and continue to exist inside your own self-made bubble, and that's fine. But sooner rather than later you'll discover you've given most of your life to something that, in all likelihood, was never you in the first place.

Blessings,

Julian

PS. You may want to watch this wonderful tribute to the late Steven Keeva. 

Note: If you're interested I'd love you to jump across to my Patreon page to check out more of my work. Hell, you might even pay me a small sum to keep up the pressure to change the law firm model -- to enable you to connect Soul with Role.

Photo by Luke Palmer

What is your calling?

“With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you - that's my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”
― Osho

What is it that you're called to do?

Is it what you're doing with your life?

If not, why not?

One thing to note: you're unlikely -- no, make that very unlikely -- to find it chained behind a desk.

If you must look anywhere, my strongest advice is to look within.

And no, this isn't about scratching all those daft itches -- the feeling of having to do something will soon pass -- but instead to realise True Self.

If that doesn't mean anything to you, what I'm referring to is you looking beyond your putative passion or even what you enjoy doing, but instead to understand that you don't will your will and only when you surrender fully to this moment (over and over) will you start to see that in seeking something, you're just as likely to move further away from True Self as you are closer to it.

Let me try and put this less prosaically. Work is not your calling. Being fully alive, fully human, and radically accepting everything, is.

Think about the people you know who you would describe as innately happy. In my experience -- particularly when I think about my late grandparents, Peter and Lorna -- they weren't obsessed with getting or doing anything. If they had an obsession it was in deepening their love for each other and being closer to God -- they were Methodists. In that space, I would say they were their calling.

Again, what about you?

What is your calling?

Are you already it without perhaps seeing it that way?

Blessings,

Julian