Taking a break


“Creativity takes courage.” 
― Henri Matisse

 If you follow me on Twitter you'll have seen me say that I'm scaling back on social media. That means I'll no longer post very much to Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr (I've not been there a while), Instagram or LinkedIn. I'll still be recording monologues on Podbean but probably only once a week -- I've yet to decide on the day but it's likely to be a Monday. If I write anywhere then it will be limited to Patreon.

 In terms of blogging, both here and on my main site, I've decided to stop writing a regular post. To be honest, I should have done this years ago. It's not that I haven't enjoyed the practice (and I hope you've gained something by reading it/them) but, the truth is, it's stopped me from writing to be published -- my ultimate aim.

 This isn't an easy decision, but there's no longer a link between the need to write online and what I want to do with my life.

 I'm sure in this digiital age there will come a time where I'll have to refresh my online presence and strike up the band, but for now, I'm taking things offline in the hope that I can bring to bear my creative energy in a fundamentally different way.

Henceforth my main focus will be:

 poetry
writing
calligraphy

I know that in every area I'll have to go back to basics, not only to understand and learn my craft -- if you can call it that -- but in the hope that I actually discover the depths of what moves me to create. Of course, I need not go this wide and could just as easily stick to writing, but I know that's not where my heart speaks loudest. 

If you're wondering why now I've decided to go all the way with my creative endeavours, I think it comes out of the fact that I've given up or been forced to abandon my wish to build a business. You see, when I look back on the last 8 years, I can see that far from building something which looks remotely like a business, all I've succeeded in doing is thrashing about looking for meaning in my work but moving no further than a few different job descriptions and slightly better work environs.

The truth is -- "my truth, folks" -- I've not sold anything that people want to buy. I mean, come on, if it were otherwise I'd have a business to my name, not a series of self-employed gigs.

Am I comfortable making this announcement? 

Not really.

It sucks. But then again, it's far better that I pull the tiny plug now before it causes me and my family any more angst. Sure, I'll have to hunker down again qua employee -- I've been in that role for at least three years anyway -- but it won't matter because outside of work I'll still have the love of my family and their appreciation for the fact that whatever I do it comes from a place of love and service. 

But I think there's something much bigger in play than all this superficial angst:

True Self.

Cal it God, reality, Buddha or Big Mind but all I'm really doing is being birthed each day to do something that speaks to my soul. 

 End of.

Or to put it less prosaically, to answer my calling.

 Thank you again for all the support you've shown over these years. It's been very important to me.

Take care.

Blessings,

Julian

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