Skip to main content

Letting go

Sometimes we get a choice, but mostly the ghosts intervene and everything, or most everything we hold dear, falls away.

In my case -- not that my backstory is worth remarking on -- endings have grown in importance, not just because they've shown me the real meaning of life but because it's part of who we are; namely, to be human, grown-up and no more and no less than our circumstance.

At this stage, you might be wondering where this post is headed. Nowhere, really. Previously that wasn't the case: I was all vim, vigour and hype. Of course, that too is part of being human -- i.e. a young man with great ambition or at least enough ambition to take me away from my barren, unloving and unloved life. But it wasn't me. It was a cloak to mask what was really going on.

I suppose all I'm saying is that we so often look for something out on the horizon that ends up being a chimaera. And that's fine. Fine in the sense that there's nothing to do, and certainly we shouldn't feel compelled to journey forth in the hope of replacing one faux dream with another. In any event, we'll do what we do, and go where we go, and we should see that for what it is -- a dynamic, flow of humanness.

I think it was Thomas Merton who said "Stand on you own two feet...", and the more I meditate on that divine expression, the more I'm driven to understand that to allow something deeper, more profound into my life I have to be prepared to let go to the fullest extent -- however much lament that might induce.

Anyhow, until the next time.

Much love,

Julian

Photo by Josh Nuttall on Unsplash


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kindness et al.

Now, more than ever, we need to find a way through this collapsing world . Yes, there are lots of strategies, templates and exhortation we could employ but, truthfully, we know in our hearts that if only there was a little less hate and a lot more kindness the world would be a much better place - in so many ways. Then again, the trope has been done to death and look where it's got us. Not very far. Perhaps it is that we've an aversion to opening ourselves up in case we're taken advantage of or worse still.  Perhaps it is that we don't feel it. It's more act than truth. Perhaps there's no quid pro quo. (Does there or should there be?) Truth is, I've no more an idea than you why the world is too often riven with a lust for hate when it should be in swoon to kindness. That doesn't (of course) stop me wondering. And wonder I will alongside all those other issues that continue to haunt me. Blessings, Julian 

Back to nature

I'm just back from my daily walk with Alfie and Fidget. I managed to stay dry right until the end when the heavens opened; Alfie didn't mind; Fidget looked like she'd had enough. For me, the daily walk isn't just a way of raising my heart rate and enjoying the fresh air -- both very important -- it's a way to connect, deeply. In fact, I'd say it was in the same vein as meditation. There's always a temptation to get it over with, but these days I nearly always take a moment to stop, breathe in and out with a strong sense of purpose and listen to my environs. It grounds me. I don't take this for granted. I realise how fortunate I am to have Dartmoor on my doorstep and to have the time to walk this way. Actually, I'm pretty sure that even if I didn't live here, I'd find a way to connect with nature, even if I had to do it in some other way, e.g. gardening. Think about your own experience with nature. I'd be very surprised if...

Mindfulness isn't...

A label to add to the other two dozen you've amassed. Something to sell as a new productivity tool. A badge of honour. A way to make people inferior if they don't get 'it'. A practice that only finds home in one area of your life. A way to exit from life's travails. A way to talk and act differently to true self. A course, retreat or YouTube video. No, mindfulness is everything. It's life. But not the life where you live on the edge between this moment and the one you're chasing. Mindfulness is now. This breath -- the in, the out and the rest in between. It means above all paying attention, fully. If you need a question to inform your mindfulness practice, try the first koan from the Mondo Zen Training Manual: "Is it possible to just purely listen? Can you listen without an opinion?" You can shorten this to one word: listen. Yes, that's it. Mindfulness is to listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Have a w...