Finding yourself; losing yourself

Which comes first?

The old self, dying to be reborn?

Or finding yourself, and everything falling away?

There's no easy answer.

The conditioning runs deep. In fact, it runs so deep I doubt if you'll ever completely remove the overlay.

It's been there from birth, practically: do this; don't do this; be this; no, not that; and on and on it goes.

You can see now why so many people seek liberation!

Even if you're willing to look at it from the other end of the telescope, i.e. "Who am I?", what do you expect to say by the time you come to realise that you're anything but your thoughts, feelings, and sensations?

No, you're everything -- a moving, shifting experience. You're the Universe in motion.

But of course, they amount to the same thing: you are the very thing that you're seeking.

"FFS, Julian. Where is this going?"

You tell me.

Where is it going?

To find happiness?

To kill your demons?

To make something of your life?

Who knows. Who really knows.

I mean, it's not like you're in control. 

Think about it. When was the last time you considered your willpower or desire?

Who is it that wills or desires?

Who really is it?

I know, it's a mystery. But that doesn't help you much in coping with life. 

Oh...yes...it...does if your willing to let go of the attachment to your neurolinguistics and just be. Not zone out to the point where you sit on a park bench and do nothing -- as if you could -- but you allow everything to unfold naturally.

Call it radical acceptance, if you must give it a label. Or, as I prefer to say, to accept this moment as if you'd chosen it.

Perhaps, in the end, it doesn't matter which end you approach enlightenment but for heaven's sake stop reading all the 'get better' material and wishing for a self-made miracle. 

Trust me, you'll plan your life away if you think it's going to come your way. The miracle that is.

Blessings,

Julian

🙏